I look at the books I owe, scattered as they are all around my room -- crammed into book shelves, on top of my desk, in what was once an encyclopedia shelf that now doubles as my 19th century book collection/night stand. I am proud of these books. I think if I were walking into someone's room that had these books I would immediately envy them. Sometimes I glance at one of my books, while watching telly or something, and forgetting that I had that book, become a bit excited. But then I wonder why I've forgotten this book. Why don't I recognize these things that are in my life that are so precious? I walk past them every day. I am the sort of person, I'm starting to learn, that wants something when she doesn't have it, and when she does, very soon afterward forgets it, so commonplace does it become. Maybe this is why I scarce away from relationship. I know that, like with my book collection, I'll become bored with it. Of course with guys I'm usually bored before anything begins.
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Jack Vettriano
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