Last night

Reading a romance novel in my room. Not for class. I can't remember the name of the book. One of the historical romance types, set in the late nineteenth century. Got it through amazon.co.uk. Was very excited when I saw it in my mail box: pathetic? :)

It is raining, very windy.

I am sitting on my window, the ledge just big enough for someone as little as me. Pillow underneath my bony arse.

I shut the curtains on either side to just about an inch open so that some light can come through for me to read my book, but am properly shaded from the room itself so that I almost feel like I am sitting out in the rain, sans getting wet or being cold. I'm a bit cold, from the wind that escapes through my properly barricaded window.

And I am happy.


Today, however, (not to mince words) I'm horribly miserable. Had all good intentions of going to library to read these emigration pamphlets I need to have read for Wend.s class. Unspeakable boring this. Unspeakably unnecessary, I feel. Prof. gives a list of what to read, and questions -- like how does the narrator treat the emigrants body on the trip and describe the bereaucracy of moving. The point is that I have to go all the way to the library and the special collections which is sectioned off and you have to get some librarian to help you and they literally lock you in this room and you have to only use pencils, which means I have to buy a pencil, and I'm going to have to read these things and write down notes so that I have something to say on Wed. because all of us are to talk about it, though I probably won't remember any of it. Prof. (who's hopelessly neurotic) thinks this so much fun -- "Our library has a special collections and these emigration pamphlets and whoo hoo, you should go read them..."

Anyway, can't go do this today because it is raining very hard and I am not paying 3.00 dollars for the tube to get there when it is not too far to walk. Also, went out yesterday without socks and in high heel shoes because didn't intend to walk too far and -- well did walk far -- and (no "polite" way of saying this) literally ripped off a great deal of my skin on my upper toe that had been rubbing against my shoe, so it is a bit painful to walk now. Have it bandaged too which means less room for it in my shoe so that more pressure is placed on it.

People change. Maybe I'm just not cut out for this anymore. Maybe I need something difficult. For some people, this may be very fun, stuck in some room reading emigration pamphlets. I don't know what else I would want, except the unattainable.

Though right now reading a romance novel while watching the London rain fall outside my window is good enough.