to be someone worthwhile

I want to dye my hair bright red and get a nose ring.

I want to wear a leather jacket.



I want to spend all day reading about famous actors dead and living and not have to read anything for class.

I want to go to the theatre to see musicals, plays, ballets, and symphonies.

I want to laugh and have fun people around me.

I want to be fun & witty & serious.

I don't want to be alone.

I want to be someone it seems I'm not, but maybe, somewhere inside, I am.

-------

During a celebration for Olivier's eightyth something birthday.

Richard Eyre: "Joan made several attempts to lead him out but he was not going to be led. The applause went on and on. And on. The audience would happily have stayed for an hour. On his way to the stage door he was lured, without much protest, at least from him, through the Green Room on to a balcony above the street, still packed with a mass of fans and photographers. They shouted, whistled, and applauded, and when he left he seemed to be crying, certain that this was the last time he'd hear such a sound, his life's music." 490 - 91

As Eyre saw it, it wasn't necessarily that Olivier was the greatest actor of his time. He simply satisfied a desire for actors to be larger than life, and to be able to be seen to be acting at the same time as they were moving an audience to tears or to laughter. 'It's the desire to be knowingly seduced...People want greatness, glory, to be bigger, more extreme, more daring, more physical than their own lives...It's impossible, for a catalogue of reasons to do with finance, the structure of the film industry and the theatre, the spirit of the age and the taste of the times, that we will ever again see a great buccaneering actor-manager, who is also a Hollywood film star, who is equally celebrated in the theatre, and who is capable of remaking his life and art so often and so judiciously as he did. It's said, "Happy the land that needs no heroes." Happier perhaps, but duller, certainly. 491