14 October 09

One of my friends is no longer my friend. 10 years I've known him. But because I've been a bit bitchy with him lately, or because he doesn't want to deal with me, he doesn't want to know me anymore. Isn't that horrible? I should have known this would happen. I think I did. He isn't good with people. He doesn't want to deal with people's pain. He only wants people who will deal with his. I don't think he was using me as such, but he obviously didn't care so much for me as a friend as I thought he did, if he'll give me up this easily.

Starting my anxiety pill today. It was a bad experience at first. I don't know if it was a reaction to the pill, but I had the worst nausea I've had, and some other things which I won't mention. One of the side effects is nausea, but the reason why I'm taking this pill is primarily for nausea brought on by anxiety. After the wretched nausea subsided, I felt, and have been feeling, better. More calm, not racing thoughts, no anger. But I don't know if that's the pill per se, or if I'm just having a good day. Even with my persistent anxiety, I have had days where I am perfectly fine, which is one of the reasons why I waited so long to see the doctor.