feeling happy

My dad amazes me. At 73, he gets up and goes to work. He looks so tired in the morning while he's eating breakfast, and sometimes falls asleep in his chair between bites. But when it is time to go, he gets dressed, and rushes out the door. He likes his work, but I know if he had a chance he would give it up, if somehow we could get enough money from some other source to pay for our bills, bills we can't even manage to entirely pay as it is. I feel so bad that he is working, while I am not.

These last three days I have been feeling superb. Actually happy. No sickness. If this continues, then I will try for a waitressing job. I do have an appointment at career development at Point Park next week, and hopefully that will yield something, although I'm cynical.

But in the meantime, I do the dishes, everyone's laundry, keep the house clean, give my father money for bills. So I guess I shouldn't feel too bad.

These pills keep me calm. I haven't been angry in over a week. I used to be so angry. Everything upset me. But I haven't been upset, even though things have happened that I know if I weren't on these pills, would make me very upset.

I sleep better too. All through the night. I wake up at 7:00 in the morning and can't believe that I have been sleeping non-stop since midnight. Before I could always tell exactly what time it was when I woke up, but now my sleep is so deep that I don't even realize time has passed.