In which Helen's gets high on train stations

Okay, here's the story, morning glory.

I'm in London. Yeah? I only have classes once a week. Yeah? I don't have to work; I have enough money to see shows and eat. I can go to museum's for free. I can walk throughout the city for free. I can go to all the libraries here.

This is a dream -- a literal fucking dream -- come true. And I can't for the life of me really comprehend it all. Like, this isn't suppose to be happening. People are never this fortunate -- are never as happy as I am right now.

That, I think, is the cause of my restlessness. I keep thinking -- something horrible is going to happen; it has to. And so instead of just enjoying my life right now, I'm constantly distracted by thoughts of impending doom.

But no more! I have to learn to enjoy the now, come what may (or may not) happen later.





Waterloo Station is where I catch the underground tube. It is also a major railway service. Has anyone experienced the exhiliration of being in a train station? I really do, however, think it is much more exciting in the U.K. The British voice on the speaker explaining what trains have arrived and when others are due to depart, the many train platforms all in a line against one side of the station, people running to catch trains, people everywhere, the chaos of it all. The station guard stands on the platform in his uniform -- orange coat and black conductor hat -- and sounds his whistle to alert people that the train will shortly depart, some people rush to catch it, many have the doors shut on them seconds before they get there. I wish, I so very much wish, I could explain this in a way that you would really grasp the greatness of it. But it is exciting and I encourage anyone to take a train in the U.K. or at least go to a train station and watch all this unfold. What is it, though, that makes it so interesting to watch? Makes it so transcendent? It is the energy of it all. Contrast an experience at a railway station with sitting all day in a cubicle at work, or home alone at night watching telly with a pint of Ben and Jerry's in one hand and a remote in the other. A mini-second in a train station is more exciting than one's daily life. The train station is even more exciting at night, for the trains waiting on the platforms outside in the pitch black night contrast harmoniously with the lights on the platforms and inside the station, giving you a feeling of what artists try to capture when they paint a picture, or compose a piece of music, or write a play.



Ate a humungous belgian waffle with chocolate smeared all over it while sitting on a bench in Regent's Park today. The messiest thing you could ever try to eat. If you ever want to know how courageous you are, eat a belgian waffle with chocolate in broad daylight where everyone can see you. There's no proper way to eat it. You can't cut it up with the flimsy plastic fork they give you and it's too big to pick up with your hand, so you have to tear off pieces of it and shove it in your mouth before it gets all over ya. Seriously -- it's not for the light-hearted.


My bitter sweet nemesis